Monday, May 08, 2006

Pick thine own harem? 'Tis a blessing indeed!

Say, Jason, You're lucky there's no one going nuts and listing overpowered female characters.

That would make for one messy harem.

Let's look at Shirou's crazy harem, for example. Two(and probably more) Servants, two mages, two Grails, one really messy tentacle monster, and not to mention one healthy teacher. All of them differing in personalities. We're lucky Nasu didn't turn Fate into a harem game. Shirou will die.

And then in Tsukihime, each woman in the harem could, would, and will rip one another(and poor Shiki) apart. Twice. Arc's a freaking plot device, Ciel has a lot of weapons up her sleeves(literally), Akiha as got some mad skills, Sion has the Etherite and her Black Barrel Replica, Kohaku's got knowledge of poisons and a killer broomstick, and I shan't go into the side characters. IT'S THE TOHNO GLAND AT WORK, I SWEAR BY ME BALLS.

Moving on to something more mundane, Negi is sure damn unlucky to have one freaking large harem. 31 little girlies all wanting his little shota self. Even his magic isn't all that effective in trying to scrub off even one.

But enough talk. Harem time.

Who gets the fist wife spot? Hell, it's tough. I like them all, and if I don't put Haruhi as first wife, I'll be tagged as a heretic and be dealt as such. Then again, since I'm not gonna consider Haruhi, bring it on. *arms self Rambo-style.

1. Caster (Fate/Stay Night)
When all is said and done, nothing beats a princess with some golden wool, the ability to beamspam with impunity, and well, evil Bell. Teehee. Incidentally, Caster is my favorite female from Fate, so :P. Screw you, Knights of Haruhi.

The second wife, wii~. Well, at least I'm not gonna catch hell for this one. Then again, why should I not take precautions? *dons a Starship Troopers-esque powered armor suit.

2. Wilhelmina Carmel (Shakugan no Shana)
:P I have no idea why I like Wilhelmina a lot. All I know is Sakai Yuuji is gonna pay. It's only a matter of time before I find the perfect guy to TEAR OPEN A NEW ONE IN HIS ASS. Hrm, maybe Fabro Rowan and his beasts might be payment for Yuuji's impunity... or maybe that gay-looking Servant with the red lance...Hell, a Kotomine is fine too... or maybe Tohno "MR. A CAT IS FINE TOO" Shiki.

And now it's time for the third wife. She should be a beauty. One with magical powers. And skilled in combat. Hrm. Tough one. Wait. I think I have a winner.

3. Sakuya Izayoi (Touhou)
She satsisfies the aforementioned criteria, does she not? Well, there's also the really minor issue of prying her from the Scarlet Devil Mansion... I'll bring cheesecake.

Moving on to the fourth one. Man this harem thing is tiring. I think I'll choose a LITTLE BOY next.

4. KoGil (Fate/Hollow Ataraxia)
Gilgamesh took a youth potion and became this cute little boy you see here. He's well-mannered, nice to people, and likes mature women. Well, screw you. I like my cute little boys and you can't stop me. Who said harems can't have little boys? *wields dual Browning M2 anti-aircraft machineguns. And Fate/Hollow Ataraxia is different fro Fate/Stay Night.

Oh my, the fifth wife. Can't take Karen, nor Shana, and BY ME BALLS, I WILL NEVER TAKE HARUHI AS MY LAWFULLY AND UNLAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE. Hrm. Well, to spite Tamaki fans, here's...

5. HMX-17a Ilfa (To Heart 2)
Robot Maids FTW. And Ilfa is cute, and has boobs, to boot. TAKE THAT MAHORO.

Hey, the last wife. Man I thought I was never going to finish this. Hmmm... NO YOU GODDAMN KNIGHTS OF HARUHI I'M NOT GONNA SWEAR MY ALLEGIANCE TO HARUHI. By Thoth, you Knights are pissing me off. Even without Haruhi, there's still so many options. Hmm. I'm tempted to put Lilith and end it all. Wait, I can.

6. Lilith (Yami no Boushi no Hon no Tabibito)
The very cute librarian from Yamibou. Partly because Carnelian is one of my favorite artists. :P
And she has a cute personality, too. And she has a cute yellow canary which is all fat and no meat.

And now, ZE MEIDO CORPS. Now, while most people would settle for one maid, I'm thinking a minimum of at least 3. I might hit 6, though. Hey, a big family needs a big workforce.

HEAD MEIDO: Archer (Fate/Stay Night)
Head butler, more like. What a great abuse of skills. At least he won't run out of cooking knives.

ASSISTANT HEAD MEIDO: Shamal (Mahou Shoujou Lyrical Nanoha A's)
Okay, not exactly meido material, but she cooks, dammit. COOKS.

MEIDO: Tachibana (Mahoraba), Noel and Farin (Nanoha/Triangle Hearts)
Tachibana doubles up as covert ops and, well, Noel and Farin needed a job after Nanoha A's ended so I took them in. It was either that or well, let's just say those meido cafes in Japan are pretty kinky...

Oh well. Wish me luck, Keitaro's immortal constitution and the TOHNO GLAND that I may come out of this alive. Hell, even with twin M2 Browning Machine Guns, my powered armor, and all this weaponry, I don't know if I can withstand repeated blows from the Knights of Haruhi, Mahoro, Tamaki fanboys, and pretty much most of anime fandom.


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