Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Top 10 lolis (and shotas, I'm not picky) [Based off Jason's Meido power rankings]

Well then, if Jason can have a meido ranking, why not one for the 18 and under(accoding to the UN Children's Charter)? After all, I'm not gonna stick me p0n0s into their ori0000s.


Coming in at number 10, we have.........

10. Suika Ibuki (Touhou Sumisou - Immaterial and Missing Power)
She's the loliest, most drunk loli on the list. She's extremely cute and would most probably fall asleep on your lap. Watch out for those beans, though. She hates them. I'd put her higher, if she weren't drunk all the time and havnig the ability to crush me like a bug. (Or peep on me whenever I take a leak. )

And at number 9... ... ... ...

9. Aruru (Utawarerumono)
Let's see here, cute, has a BIG FREAKING NIGH INVINCIBLE TIGER for a bodyguard and pet, and is very much attached to Mr. T000 B0000 Rune (Hakuoro) himself. And since the tiger will kill you if you cross swords with Mr T000 B0000 Rune Himself, you really are in a bit of a sticky widget.

And taking the 8th position is... ... ... ...

8. Chiyo (Azumanga Daioh)
She's cute, has a big friendly dog, has a cat for a father, smart to the nth degree, and is adored by all. I have to dock points for BEING ABLE TO KILL PEOPLE WITH HER ACTIONS AND THAT DAMNED PENGUIN COSTUME. Ack.

Barely trumping Chiyo in 7th position is... ... ...

7. Rebacca Miyamoto AKA Becky (Pani Poni Dash)
See above, sans dog, cat father and plus points for looking cute if threatened if you bully her. O_O

6th place is a goddamned shocker. IT'S A LITTLE BOY OMG.

6. Yuuno (Mahou Shoujou Lyrical Nanoha / Nanoha A's)
He's one of the reasons why I watched Nanoha (actually, the main reason) I LOVE SHOTA FERRETS.
...Wait, what's with those pitchforks? And trebuchets? And torches? I'm not done yet...T_T

Look, people, I'm only halfway through. Lemme finish this, okay?

Moving on to number 5... ... ... ...

5. Shana~ (Shakugan no Shana~)
YES I PUT SOME FUCKING TILDES. She's that special. And OMG AN AHOGE. OMG MERONPAN. *Critical hit! DrmChsr0 takes 9999 damage! DrmChsr0 DIES. Now, if I can form a contract with Archer and turn Sakai Yuuji into a FUCKING PINCUSHION, I'd be happy happy joy joy.

And now, rage abated (somewhat, gimme Caliburn, I'll rip that fucker's head off), we can continue to number 4 on the chart.

4. Illyasivel von Einzbren (Fate/Stay Night)
Seriously, who doesn't love a foreign loli who takes the initiative when it comes to men? She kidnaps Shirou and wants him to wait on her hand and foot, or something. And as a bonus, she has some oddly dresed meidos. I'd rank her higher, but I love Caster more.

Down to the last 3, this is gonna get fun.

3. Fate Testarossa (Mahou Shoujou Lyrical Nanoha / Nanoha A's), Mitsuki (He is My Master), Saber (Fate/Stay Night)
OMFG THREE WAY TIE. Also happens all three are blondes. Saber has the FREAKING AHOGE (yank it and you have another Saber~), Mitsuki is one evil loli(don't be fooled by the maid dress, err, thingy! Serious. She commands her army of fanboys to do her will. SHE'S FUCKING EMPEROR PALPATINE.), and Fate-chan, well, apart from being HAADO GEI for Nanoha, she has this rather awesome whipping sce-
MaullarMaullar, I'm gonna come over to your dorm AND FUCK YOU IN THE ASS BDSM-STYLE.

Last two, I'm too damn lazy to separate them, and they're just too damn awesome.

2. Ren (Tsukihime)
1. Nanako (Kagetsu Tohya)
Lesee here... on one end of the spectrum, a blue-haired loli catgirl who has the ability to kill you using wet dreams. She likes quiet walks in the park, strawbery shortcake, and can turn into a cat at will. On the other end of the spectrum, we have a slightly whiny unicorngirl who can turn into a big freaking gun that can kill you in one blow. She likes carrots, her master and more carrots.
Herein lies a problem. Why is Nanako ranked number 1? Well, mostly because I can't pry Ren from Shiki without becoming HAADO GEI for him. Goddamn Gland. With Nanako, all you need is a fresh curry bread from Messian. OHKO. Ciel's screwed.I get Nanako and all is well. Okay, maybe not.

Shanghai doll (Touhou)
Okay, she's not an actual loli, but a cute little doll. And yes, she's A LOT CUTER than Shinku and company. Don't give the crap that she's expendable, I'm not gonna turn her into a cute grenade of doom. Not even in the face of the Knights of Haruhi(and for the last time, you annoying knights in Incerceptor body armor, NO I WILL NOT SWEAR MY ALLEGIANCE TO HARUHI.).Dolls need some love too.

Okay guys, I'm done. Go ahead and hit me with your worst.
*yanks out Sakai Yuuji and makes him the cannon fodder while DrmChsr0 runs like the wind.


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